My Mom gave me a CD of Celtic music.
This song is the prettiest of all.
I would like it played at the wedding, I'm sure you'd agree.

My young love said to me, "My mother won't mind
And my father won't slight you for your lack of kind",
And she stepped away from me and this she did say,
"It will not be long, love, till our wedding day."

She stepped away from me, and she went thro' the fair.
And fondly I watched her move here and move there.
And then she went homeward with one star awake,
As the swan in the evening moves over the lake.

Last night she came to me, she came softly in,
So softly she came that her feet made no din.
And she laid her hand on me, and this she did say,
"It will not be long, love, till our wedding day."

If I were an eagle and had two wings to fly
I would fly to my love's castle and it's there I would lie
In a bed of green ivy l would lay myself down
With my two fold' wings I would my love surround.

Home is a place untouchable.

I lie here, my bedroom window open.
God, if I ever had a home it was among autumn trees.
I can only imagine the perfect moments of my life before you.
And they're all among trees.
It will be the same this year, my few months of home.
I will stand out in the yard, wrapped in a jacket, coat, scarf and gloves.
I will breathe in the cool, crisp air.
How I love the autumn air.
Though my lungs reject the passion.

How could I reject such peace?
My health, the bane of my soul.
Nevertheless I stand, arms stretched wide, in the cold.
The sweet scent of falling leaves, the soft crunch.
Dance with me?
Play with me?
I'm never more alive.

I'll Watch the Sun Rise.

I was just laying in bed thinking and I began to cry.
I had to write this for you.

My Grandfather is 75.
He's not the man he used to be.
I wonder if he knows?
He's becoming senile.
He's not to man my Grandmother fell in love with anymore.

I wonder if he realizes.

You're 15 years older than me.
When I'm 60 you'll be His age.
I'll be so young.
I could live 30 years longer than you.
30 years if Christmas's, Birthdays, anniversary's, alone.

30 years of sunrises.

It makes me regret the 17 years I spent not knowing you.
I'll watch you grow old.
Ill watch your health diminish.
I'll still love you.
I hope that by then I've found peace in this.
That I'll be able to let go.

I never want to lose you.

I'll never that the time I have with you for granted.
I'll relish each moment as if it were my last.
I'll love you as much as I can.
I'll never turn down an adventure.
I'll never pass an opportunity.

In a way, I'll never really lose you.

It will hurt so bad.
Worse than anything.
I remember when I was at Chris's dads funeral.
Mrs. Brown was standing over the casket.
Looking down at her husband.
Her Highschool sweetheart.

The only man she ever loved.

"This is the last time she'll ever see him"
I remember the thought striking me, as the tears began.
I didn't know him very well, he had always been sick.
At least, as long as I had known him.
He was a wonderful man.
It was unfortunate that I only learned that after he was gone.
One of my few regrets in life.
How does she go on?

How will I?

I always imagined that your spouse would be the hardest to lose.
They're the only people in your life that you really choose to be with.
Your Parents, children, grandparents, they're given to you.
You didn't spend a part of your life trying to find them.
At least, that's what I've always thought.

I remember imagining Mrs. Browns thoughts as she looked down at him.

Thinking about the first time they met.
Their first kiss, first date.
The first time they made love.
Their wedding day.
The times they discovered she was pregnant.
All of the holidays.
All of the moments they spent together.

I'll do that some day.

I'll look back on all of the wonderful moments we spent together.
How much love and happiness we had.
All of the bad times.
The crazy times.
The wonderful times.
The times when we thought that time might stop.

Just to preserve that perfect moment.

I hope that my tears then, are tears of joy.
The joy of a life well lived.
A life of love and joy.
I'll be looking at a man whose life was made all the better,

Because I was with him.

To you.

I love you, I wish I could tell you how much.
You mean the world to me.
You make my world worth living in.
"It's no fun being awake anymore."
I said that years ago.
When I'm with you, it's not true anymore.
It's been so long.

Since I was awake.

Even as I sit here I can't get you out of my head.
You're so amazing.
It's only a few weeks until I see you again.
I can't wait.
It'll be torture to stand next to you.
And not be able to say all the things I want to.

I love you so much.

I really would do anything for you.
I can't wait to tell my family about you.
They'll freak.
My grandparents will disown me, at first.
They'll come around.
Mom will love you after she talks to you.
And she will want to talk.
After they get to know you they'll love you as much as I do.

Believe me.

You have no idea how scary this is for me.
I've spent my entire life trying not to rock the boat.
And now I find myself here.
I can see you, me, Kacey and Jonathan all laughing about it over a drink.
About how the entire family's freaking over you.
It'll be wonderful.
I'll be so happy.

Is that strange?

I don't think so, if I'm with you I'll be happy.
I can imagine the entire night, us all drinking.
It'll be fun.
We'll spend the night laughing, telling stories.
I can't wait.
I'm not even going to tell my family that any thing's going on.
I'll just call my mom one day.
"Guess what? Chris proposed. I said yes."
Priceless.

I wish I could see her face.

We'll be "just friends" to her.
Until that day.
I'm so excited.
I'm so happy.

I love you so much.

The Moment.

I'm sitting in a chair at Home, I can't get you off my mind.
Your smell lingers on my clothes.
Your touch is still felt on my skin.
Your words ring through my ears.
I miss you so much.

Words fail me as think over our time together.
I wonder if either of us expected it.
Perhaps we knew, in secret, of the future.
I wouldn't take it back for the world.
The most perfect of moments.

"To be utterly lost in a moment."
"The most beautiful feeling that ever could be."
Intoxicated.
Caught in an instant, trapped in time.
The same words came to both our lips.

I still can't believe the days events.

I hate fridays.

Shit, tomorrow's Friday.
To everyone else in the world Fridays are a day of celebration.
They mean the end of the work week and the beginning of the weekend.
To me they mean that Mom will be at home.
And, not to be whiny, but when Mom's home life sucks.
Don't get me wrong, I love my Mom, it's just that hearing about how much I don't do around the house isn't my thought of a good day.
Now, I really do a lot around the house, it's the things I don't do that pisses mom off.
But naturally, it's because they're the things she has to do.
The only real reason she yells at me is because she's frustrated with the house, dad and her life in general.
I'm just there to yell at.
The only things I don't do are wash their dishes(I rarely eat at home and when I do it usually can be eaten on a paper towel), fix the dinner I don't eat(Well, I fix the dinners I do eat.), and wash their clothes(I wash mine).
Because loading clothes into a machine and then playing computer games is hard.
Now normally I have an excuse for not doing everything around the house, but until school starts I don't.
That makes me the bad guy apparently, god forbid it be dad who makes half the messes we clean up.
It also means I have to hear her yell at the dogs all day, for no reason.
And I can't talk to you all day long like normal.
I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'll have to get out of the house to keep from going insane.
I'm considering taking Kacey's drunk holiday idea for tomorrow.
-J

The only woman who is or ever was.

This is written the way I think.
I sounds like a graphic novel to me.
Actually, it reminds me of "A Girl and Her Cat" by the guy who did Voices of a Distant Star.

Enjoy.


I'm lying in my bed exhausted.
It's hot, and the fan isn't helping.
I can hear my dogs fighting in the living room.
I can't forget what you said last night.
It was about women.
It's weird, how you understand women.

Perfectly.

My feet ache, my shoes are too small.
My stomach hurts too.
Why can't I get you out of my head?
This longing, I haven't felt like this before.

It's so humid here.

I kick off my shoes, and take off my jeans.
Donning, instead, a pair of mens boxers.
I look up at the orange lamp hanging from my ceiling.
Then the posters on the wall.
My room, clothed in bright colors, is oddly soothing.
I turn over and hug my pillow, wanting to drift away.

A song plays softly in my head as I lay dozing.

I find myself listening to it.
As always, the music transports me into a dream.
I'm standing at the edge of a forest.
My robes are hot and heavy.
A shadow of the burden I bear.
I lean on my staff and look inward of the forest.

What lays in wait for me there?

As I walked I met a man, he said he knew me.
He seemed a mystery, yet a gentile soul.
I wonder, where have I met him?
He seems so familiar.
He leans in to whisper in my ear.
"You deserve to feel that way."
What way?

I hear a loud sound.

I find myself again lying in my room.
Stupid dogs, still play-fighting.
I roll over and look at the time.
All most time for dinner.
I begin to think, yet again, of you.
Your tender kiss.
Your soft voice.

As I wait for you to call.

Maiden.

I wrote this in by head a long time ago.
I liked the way I worded it more then.
I promised I'd post it, so here it is.
It has no title, I'll think of one later.


The Moon, in it's full glory and spirit, hung low over the forest.
In a clearing, it shone as a silvery glow on Her pale skin.
Clothed in Her passion, bathed in it's silky light,
lying on the velvet grass.

Oh young soldier, what possessed you so?
To walk into the woods that night?
In your youth, did you forget the warning?
Now doomed to passion and lust.
To long for the touch of her skin,
the kiss of the wholly pure.
To love the Untouchable Maiden.

You stand, struck by the beauty.
She could take the most hardened of souls.
The trees are silent, enraptured by Her presence,
swaying with Her breath.
Oh young soldier, your fate is sealed.

The Moon, shining on Her pale skin,
revealing every angle, every curve on Her silvery white body.
Though you never leave these woods again, do you regret your walk?
Would you have been happy never knowing that such beauty exists?
Oh young soldier, is this a noble destiny?
To sit and wait for your love to awaken?
If given the choice, would you wonder again?

And yet, you may be the one she waits for.
forever blessed by Her love,
you will live with Her till your dying day.
Oh young soldier for you I wish this true.
To be blessed by Her, the unreachable Maiden.

I'll be waiting at the end of your long road.

To you, you know who you are, I love you.
I wish I were as poetic as you.
Then I too could share my feelings.
I sat all day today and thought of you.
I thought of how I'll never need to work for your love.
You won't care if I gain weight,
or stop wearing expensive clothes.

I wonder if I'm too young.
If I'll wrong you in the future.
I worry about my family taking the news.

How is it we find ourselves in these places?

I can't shake the thought of how wonderful I could make your life.
And how nice that would be.
I hope I can do that for you.

I hope someday to be your blushing bride.
God, how frightening it will be.
How frightening it is.

You make me feel so young.
So naive.
Inadequate.

I never feel this way.

You have such a soft personality, the likes I've never seen.
I could never be mad at you.
But perhaps it is that you would never give me a reason to.

I feel a change in myself.
I see a change in you.

How will I affect you?
Will I know your fate?
Will I aide it?

I've never felt so small.
I'm no longer confident in myself.
No longer am I the high Cleric I once was.
My days of quiet battle are over,
I am now a lowly seer.

How do you feel when you see me in my youth?
In my young clothes and manner?
What do you see?
How do I seem?

I'll never match your wisdom.
As I'll never match your age.
I wonder if I'll tire you.

I wish I had the right words to say.
"What do I mean to you?"
Where to begin?
How do I begin to explain such things?
I wish I knew.
Even if I had your age, your wisdom, your way with words, I could never begin to say.

I wish I could tell you all the ways I appreciate you.
Your kindness.
Your gentle way.
Your love.

It feels so strange when you compliment me.
I feel so young when you talk of your love.
I'll never consider myself your equal.
I'll always place you above I.

But I'll always love you.

We'll walk forever on velvet green.

I first of all want to continue my rant in my "about me" thing.


I have worked in Nuclear and I don't glow at night. Though I have seen the spent fuel rods glowing at the bottom of the spent fuel pool. I have seen the control room and the reactor and, yes, they're amazing.Really, the rumor I'd like to squash is about safety, nuclear power is extremely safe. The yearly dose(how much radiation you get. As enforced by the NRC) rates are comparable to the amount if radiation you get from the sun yearly.

While I worked at STP for two months and made countless entries into the RA(Radiation Area.) I only received .1 mRem. which is .0001 Rem, out of the legal yearly limit of 1.5 rem.
1.5 Rem is also close to the amount of radiation you get from the sun yearly.
It would take over 100 rem for you to even begin show signs of radiation poisoning.
Also, your body(like the Earth.) cleanses it's self of contaminates, so the radiation doesn't build up over time but is flushed out.
the .1 mRem is actually Neutron radiation, which you can only get from being near the reactor while it is in power.
The reactor is HUGE, it's around 12 feet across.
When you walk into the MAB(Main area building.) you loose all sense of direction.

Seven feet of concrete has that effect on you.

It feels like playing a game, like Zelda when you're in a dungeon.
You have no sense of the outside world or how it relates with the room you're in.

All of the buildings smell different.
Nay, all of the rooms smell different.
Every room has a different temperature.
One minute you'll be in a room where it's a muggy 100 degrees and then you're in a room where it's 50 DF with wind speeds of up to 50 MPH.

It's beyond real.
Beyond explaining.
It's a wild, scary, exciting place.
Like walking in one huge machine.
there are pipes everywhere.
Everything looks the same.

There are so many amazing things in it.
The rods glowing at the bottom of the spent fuel pool are the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
It's a faint blue glow, otherworldly.
The pool it's self is amazing, it's 45.6 feet of perfectly clear water.

If only there was a way I could tell everyone about the things I saw there.

The control room looks like the bridge of a star ship.
But brightly lit.
And yellow.
With blue carpet.

For the record, if a plane full of fuel was flown into the containment building,
the plane would loose.
Bad.
Crunched plane.
Sad, crunch~ed plane.

There's an airlock between the MAB and the RCB.(Reactor containment building.)
It has that new car smell.
I was disappointed by the lack of "Smoke Machine"/"Liquid Nitrogen"/"Pressurized Air" fog when I was in the airlock.
They could of thrown that in for the aesthetics of it all.


It was an amazing experience that I was honored to be given.

It's a pity I'll probably never see it again.

On the other hand, I have red hair now!
Wow!

I feel bitchier already.


Any way, I has gots to go.

-Jess

TT18/Cleaning: The good, the bad, and the OH SWEET JEEBUS!

Well, I cleaned today.
Armed with Soft Scrub(Spray and original), Clorox(Liquid and wipes), and Mr. Clean magic erasers I was tough on grime!
Whoocha!(Gun draw noise.)
:p
I was kickin' ass and takin' names in the kitchen.
Stove grime, you are my bitch.
Hooah.
How many more kitschy sayings can I fit in one post?
A lot.
believe me.

No really, I could.

If I wanted too.

Lucky for you I don't.

Bitch.
:p

Man, I'm tired...
*Dies*

...
...
...

I'm okay! *coughbloodcough*

[Kudos to those who got that madness.]

So, Mr. Clean magic erasers...
Aptly named.
They erase...

Magically.

Really, they clean, like, anything.

And leave little 'raser bits.

Lol.
So, I'm listening to ELO's "Mr. Blue sky" and The Moody Blues' "Knights in white satin".
An odd pair.
But very fun.
It keeps me on my toes.
One minute I'm all happy and "Hey there Mr. blue! " and the next I'm all "Because I LOOOOOOVVVVEEE YOUUUUUU!!!!!"

Lol.

Ya know, I used to write e-mails like this.
It would take me hours to write them.
They were really long.

But, they were by far my best work.

Maybe I'll post some sometime.

Ya know what else, that's the only song by The Moody Blues I like.
All of their songs are kinda the same.
I think it's only possible to really like one, or all of them.
otherwise you'd get confused.
'Cause they're so much alike, ya know?
You'd be all like, "Do i like this one? ... Maybe?"

"No, it's this one I like!"
"No... not that one..."



"This one? Shit, I can't remember. Screw this, stupid Moody Blues."

Then The Moody Blues would have no fans.
And be poor.

that's why I'm only gonna like one, ya know, just to be safe.

yup.

Thus it is proved.
So, booya.

-J(Lol)

TT11,TT12,TT13,TT14,TT15,TT16, TT17

TT10

TT9

Well, I'm back from dallas.
not much happend.

I'm so damn tired.

Well, I'm in Dallas now. I came up here for spring break to visit my cousins and Chris(Jedimerc).
The drive was long but fun.
One of my friends was riding with me and he's really hiper so it was interesting.
The scenery was beautiful coming up here.
I love the little towns.
I got lost at first, luckily I remembered some of the town from when I was down last year.
Sorry my posts have been sub-par lately, I've been really busy.

TT8/Two months.

So, how is everybody?(all one of you. :p)
Chris is a goober who hates me.
:p

TT7

Twinkie Tuesday No. 7.
I swear I'll find a use for this someday.

Boo.

Well, not much to say.
Lately I've been programing my own little version of ZORK in python.
It's taking a long time.
When I have it finished I'll give it to anyone who wants it.

TT6

Twinkie Tuesday No. 6.

Random site.

http://uk.gizmodo.com/
Or,
http://us.gizmodo.com/

I found this site and thought it was kinda cool.
It's pretty funny, the only problem is that the owner/s is a mac fan.

Mac sucks.

That is all.

Twinkie Tuesday.

This is a day-late Twinkie Tuesday post.

1.First Name?
Scout or Jessie

2.Age you would prefer to be?
30

3.Immortality?
Yes

4.What is your quest?
To seek the holy grail, to find my wings.

5.Nerd or Geek?
Both, it depends.

6.Single, Pre-Owned, or Attached?
Attached.

7.History or Geography?
Neither.

8.Favorite Sport?
Watching preppies do stupid stuff.

9.Favorite Pro Sports Team?
Cowboys(For points from Chris.)

10.Do you understand the infield fly rule?
Hell no, but I'm sure you could take an hour to tell me.

11.Do you understand Cricket?(the default answer should be 'no', even if you are from the UK or former British colonial holding)
Kinda.

12.Fusion or Fission?
Yes.

13.Do you own a lightsaber (real or otherwise)?
I used to.

14.What is your favorite color?
Blue, no, yell.. AHH!!!

15.What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
African or European?

16.Star Trek, Babylon 5, or Battlestar Galactica?
B5, baby. And star trek too, I get both 'cause I'm hot.

17.Phaser or Blaster?
Blaster, more damage!

18.Superman or Batman?
Batman, superman's a dick.

19.Spiderman or Wolverine?
Wolverine, Spiderman's a puss.

20. Harry Potter or JRR Tolkien (or alternatively, CS Lewis)?
Tolkein, but harry potter's more fun to read.

21.Robert Frost or Edgar Allen Poe?
Poe!

22.Weather aside, do you feel more day baseball games should be played?
No.

23.Who fought each other in the Hundred Years War?
Yes.

24.How many digital media devices do you own? (ie, ipods, computers, cellphones, video game systems)
OMG... A lot.

25.360, PS3, or the worst name for a video game system ever(Wii)?
WII!

26.What is the longest amount of time you waited in line for a movie?
9 hours, lord of the rings trilogy, we already had tickets.

27. And finally, if you had a teleportation device that would send you into any of the alternate universe described above, where would you go?
Hmm... I'll have to think about that one.

Twinkie Tuesday/The 9th.

I know I didn't post my Twinkie Tuesday this week but I do have a reason.
Today is one-month anniversary.
I don't really have anything to say so I'll leave it at that.

Python class.

http://www.python.org/
Go there, download python, run this.

N = raw_input("What is your name? ")
o = input("First integer?")
t = input("Second integer?")
print "thank you,",N,"the sum of",o,"and",t,"is:",o+t

The output should be something like this:
What is your name? Scout
First integer? 3
Second integer? 4
Thank you, Scout the sum of 3 and 4 is: 7

I just wrote that in the class I am currently posting from.
I finished first! It rocked!
It was funny cause I'm in a class with all upperclassmen and they were asking me for help.

Twinkie Tuesday no. 3

Well, I'm starting something called "Twinkie tuesday", cause my dog twinkie died on a tuesday three weeks ago. I don't really have anything to post today and I need to go do homework so I have to go.

I just disappear sometimes...

Hey, I'm back.
I've been busy with school.
(I don't know why I bother saying this, the only one who reads my blog knows I've been busy.)
Lol.
Just posting 'cause I have some time.

92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing their heads off.

Just had to post this...

I hate titles, I can never think of anything to say.

Well, school starts Tuesday.
I'm excited because right now have nothing to do. ;p
This semester I have Digital fundamentals, D.C. circuits, Technical report writing, and Technical programming(PYTHON).
Technical report writhing is gonna suck, the teacher is a bitch.
She's one of the kind that's angry all the time and takes it out on her students.
She's almost fifty, very pretty, and single.
It's widely believed that she really just needs to get a boyfriend.
Or, that she midnights as a dominatrix.
I can't stand her, I have a serious problem with teachers who, how to put this? Let their personal feelings/life/shit alter their teaching.
If you don't like me, my friends, or anything about me or anyone else, that's fine, but that doesn't give you the right to discriminate against me as a student.
My art(design) teacher last semester was like that, it was ridiculous.
He always gave the older man that he liked A's.
One time our assignment was to make a design using one shade only of red, gray, and black.
Well, one of the girls was mistaken and put two shads of gray on hers. Well, he told her that if she didn't change it he'd give her an F.
The older man used two shades of gray and got and A+ on his(Okay, but not that good.) project.
Before you even ask, yes, it was that simple, he just favored him.
He was the worst teacher I've ever had, he never taught us anything.
In fact, he never even knew what that weeks project was! I always had to get out my syllabus so he could read it!
*sigh*
Sorry, rant... ;p
I have enough stories alone to have him fired...
Well, in any school that cared I would.
The management at my school is horrible.
The counselors never know what classes the programs contain and the secretaries have no idea what their doing. Lol.
Luckily, some of the teachers do.
Lol.
It's really sad that they have the second best electronics course in Texas...
But it's understandable once you meet the teachers. It's headed by two genius men that have a lot of resources and a medium amount of students.
It's super fun because a) they're two wonderful and super nice teachers, and b) It's a five semester program and you're with the same people the whole time.
Ah, I've been typing a while... I need a rest.


Scout.

Yay?

I have a blog now, crazy...
I haven't had a blog since I was 13...
Lol.
I don't really expect anyone to read this so bye.