The Moment.

I'm sitting in a chair at Home, I can't get you off my mind.
Your smell lingers on my clothes.
Your touch is still felt on my skin.
Your words ring through my ears.
I miss you so much.

Words fail me as think over our time together.
I wonder if either of us expected it.
Perhaps we knew, in secret, of the future.
I wouldn't take it back for the world.
The most perfect of moments.

"To be utterly lost in a moment."
"The most beautiful feeling that ever could be."
Intoxicated.
Caught in an instant, trapped in time.
The same words came to both our lips.

I still can't believe the days events.

I hate fridays.

Shit, tomorrow's Friday.
To everyone else in the world Fridays are a day of celebration.
They mean the end of the work week and the beginning of the weekend.
To me they mean that Mom will be at home.
And, not to be whiny, but when Mom's home life sucks.
Don't get me wrong, I love my Mom, it's just that hearing about how much I don't do around the house isn't my thought of a good day.
Now, I really do a lot around the house, it's the things I don't do that pisses mom off.
But naturally, it's because they're the things she has to do.
The only real reason she yells at me is because she's frustrated with the house, dad and her life in general.
I'm just there to yell at.
The only things I don't do are wash their dishes(I rarely eat at home and when I do it usually can be eaten on a paper towel), fix the dinner I don't eat(Well, I fix the dinners I do eat.), and wash their clothes(I wash mine).
Because loading clothes into a machine and then playing computer games is hard.
Now normally I have an excuse for not doing everything around the house, but until school starts I don't.
That makes me the bad guy apparently, god forbid it be dad who makes half the messes we clean up.
It also means I have to hear her yell at the dogs all day, for no reason.
And I can't talk to you all day long like normal.
I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'll have to get out of the house to keep from going insane.
I'm considering taking Kacey's drunk holiday idea for tomorrow.
-J

The only woman who is or ever was.

This is written the way I think.
I sounds like a graphic novel to me.
Actually, it reminds me of "A Girl and Her Cat" by the guy who did Voices of a Distant Star.

Enjoy.


I'm lying in my bed exhausted.
It's hot, and the fan isn't helping.
I can hear my dogs fighting in the living room.
I can't forget what you said last night.
It was about women.
It's weird, how you understand women.

Perfectly.

My feet ache, my shoes are too small.
My stomach hurts too.
Why can't I get you out of my head?
This longing, I haven't felt like this before.

It's so humid here.

I kick off my shoes, and take off my jeans.
Donning, instead, a pair of mens boxers.
I look up at the orange lamp hanging from my ceiling.
Then the posters on the wall.
My room, clothed in bright colors, is oddly soothing.
I turn over and hug my pillow, wanting to drift away.

A song plays softly in my head as I lay dozing.

I find myself listening to it.
As always, the music transports me into a dream.
I'm standing at the edge of a forest.
My robes are hot and heavy.
A shadow of the burden I bear.
I lean on my staff and look inward of the forest.

What lays in wait for me there?

As I walked I met a man, he said he knew me.
He seemed a mystery, yet a gentile soul.
I wonder, where have I met him?
He seems so familiar.
He leans in to whisper in my ear.
"You deserve to feel that way."
What way?

I hear a loud sound.

I find myself again lying in my room.
Stupid dogs, still play-fighting.
I roll over and look at the time.
All most time for dinner.
I begin to think, yet again, of you.
Your tender kiss.
Your soft voice.

As I wait for you to call.

Maiden.

I wrote this in by head a long time ago.
I liked the way I worded it more then.
I promised I'd post it, so here it is.
It has no title, I'll think of one later.


The Moon, in it's full glory and spirit, hung low over the forest.
In a clearing, it shone as a silvery glow on Her pale skin.
Clothed in Her passion, bathed in it's silky light,
lying on the velvet grass.

Oh young soldier, what possessed you so?
To walk into the woods that night?
In your youth, did you forget the warning?
Now doomed to passion and lust.
To long for the touch of her skin,
the kiss of the wholly pure.
To love the Untouchable Maiden.

You stand, struck by the beauty.
She could take the most hardened of souls.
The trees are silent, enraptured by Her presence,
swaying with Her breath.
Oh young soldier, your fate is sealed.

The Moon, shining on Her pale skin,
revealing every angle, every curve on Her silvery white body.
Though you never leave these woods again, do you regret your walk?
Would you have been happy never knowing that such beauty exists?
Oh young soldier, is this a noble destiny?
To sit and wait for your love to awaken?
If given the choice, would you wonder again?

And yet, you may be the one she waits for.
forever blessed by Her love,
you will live with Her till your dying day.
Oh young soldier for you I wish this true.
To be blessed by Her, the unreachable Maiden.

I'll be waiting at the end of your long road.

To you, you know who you are, I love you.
I wish I were as poetic as you.
Then I too could share my feelings.
I sat all day today and thought of you.
I thought of how I'll never need to work for your love.
You won't care if I gain weight,
or stop wearing expensive clothes.

I wonder if I'm too young.
If I'll wrong you in the future.
I worry about my family taking the news.

How is it we find ourselves in these places?

I can't shake the thought of how wonderful I could make your life.
And how nice that would be.
I hope I can do that for you.

I hope someday to be your blushing bride.
God, how frightening it will be.
How frightening it is.

You make me feel so young.
So naive.
Inadequate.

I never feel this way.

You have such a soft personality, the likes I've never seen.
I could never be mad at you.
But perhaps it is that you would never give me a reason to.

I feel a change in myself.
I see a change in you.

How will I affect you?
Will I know your fate?
Will I aide it?

I've never felt so small.
I'm no longer confident in myself.
No longer am I the high Cleric I once was.
My days of quiet battle are over,
I am now a lowly seer.

How do you feel when you see me in my youth?
In my young clothes and manner?
What do you see?
How do I seem?

I'll never match your wisdom.
As I'll never match your age.
I wonder if I'll tire you.

I wish I had the right words to say.
"What do I mean to you?"
Where to begin?
How do I begin to explain such things?
I wish I knew.
Even if I had your age, your wisdom, your way with words, I could never begin to say.

I wish I could tell you all the ways I appreciate you.
Your kindness.
Your gentle way.
Your love.

It feels so strange when you compliment me.
I feel so young when you talk of your love.
I'll never consider myself your equal.
I'll always place you above I.

But I'll always love you.

We'll walk forever on velvet green.

I first of all want to continue my rant in my "about me" thing.


I have worked in Nuclear and I don't glow at night. Though I have seen the spent fuel rods glowing at the bottom of the spent fuel pool. I have seen the control room and the reactor and, yes, they're amazing.Really, the rumor I'd like to squash is about safety, nuclear power is extremely safe. The yearly dose(how much radiation you get. As enforced by the NRC) rates are comparable to the amount if radiation you get from the sun yearly.

While I worked at STP for two months and made countless entries into the RA(Radiation Area.) I only received .1 mRem. which is .0001 Rem, out of the legal yearly limit of 1.5 rem.
1.5 Rem is also close to the amount of radiation you get from the sun yearly.
It would take over 100 rem for you to even begin show signs of radiation poisoning.
Also, your body(like the Earth.) cleanses it's self of contaminates, so the radiation doesn't build up over time but is flushed out.
the .1 mRem is actually Neutron radiation, which you can only get from being near the reactor while it is in power.
The reactor is HUGE, it's around 12 feet across.
When you walk into the MAB(Main area building.) you loose all sense of direction.

Seven feet of concrete has that effect on you.

It feels like playing a game, like Zelda when you're in a dungeon.
You have no sense of the outside world or how it relates with the room you're in.

All of the buildings smell different.
Nay, all of the rooms smell different.
Every room has a different temperature.
One minute you'll be in a room where it's a muggy 100 degrees and then you're in a room where it's 50 DF with wind speeds of up to 50 MPH.

It's beyond real.
Beyond explaining.
It's a wild, scary, exciting place.
Like walking in one huge machine.
there are pipes everywhere.
Everything looks the same.

There are so many amazing things in it.
The rods glowing at the bottom of the spent fuel pool are the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
It's a faint blue glow, otherworldly.
The pool it's self is amazing, it's 45.6 feet of perfectly clear water.

If only there was a way I could tell everyone about the things I saw there.

The control room looks like the bridge of a star ship.
But brightly lit.
And yellow.
With blue carpet.

For the record, if a plane full of fuel was flown into the containment building,
the plane would loose.
Bad.
Crunched plane.
Sad, crunch~ed plane.

There's an airlock between the MAB and the RCB.(Reactor containment building.)
It has that new car smell.
I was disappointed by the lack of "Smoke Machine"/"Liquid Nitrogen"/"Pressurized Air" fog when I was in the airlock.
They could of thrown that in for the aesthetics of it all.


It was an amazing experience that I was honored to be given.

It's a pity I'll probably never see it again.

On the other hand, I have red hair now!
Wow!

I feel bitchier already.


Any way, I has gots to go.

-Jess